superweeniehutjr @superweeniehtjr August 24, 2016

Last week as reported by LaughingPlace.com, Epcot quietly debuted a new pavilion: The Classic Retail America Pavilion (lovingly referred to as CRAP by insiders).

Assembled inside the old Communicore West building, millennials are invited to experience what retail mall life was like before the miracles of Amazon same-day delivery. This experience was economically designed as an overlay to the long, endless, air-conditioned hallway that features no attractions or vision for the future, much to the chagrin of Epcot vacant hallway enthusiasts. The thematic appropriateness of the pavilion and its placement in Future World was called into question by many in Epcot fandom. The move was praised by some purists, however, as Disney’s attempt to restore Epcot its 1982-era splendor.

This fantastic retro attraction featured an automatic photo kiosk and not one, but TWO coin-operated massage chairs to fully immerse you in the classic 80s and 90s mall going experience. Rumors have it that plans also included the construction of a Sbarro and an Orange Julius. However, unfortunately, the pavilion was abruptly closed when planners realized that no patron carried the eleven dollars in quarters it would take to use these devices at Disney premium price points. Vacant hallway enthusiasts were said to be in tears and crieing at the cancellation of the pavilion. Much like the malls it sought to replicate, this pavilion has died an inglorious death.

If you were able to snag a photo from the limited time magic Comminicore West hallway photo kiosk, please contact us. You may have one of the most rare Disney artifacts ever, second only to our perfectly preserved Scat Snack from Animal Kingdom.